Santa is talking to Banta about married life.
"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."
Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.
"While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."
Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"
"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.
"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window. Your wife was kissing the man. Then he took off his shirt and then.... they turned off the light."
"Then what happened?" says Santa.
"I don't know. It was too dark to see."
"Damn, you see what I mean? There's always that doubt."
"You know," he says, "I really trust my wife, and I think she has always been faithful to me. But there's always that doubt."
Banta says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later Santa has to go out of town on a business tour. Before he goes, he gets together with Banta.
"While I'm away, could you do me a favor? Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on? I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."
Banta agrees to help out, and Santa leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back and meets Banta, "So did anything happen?"
"I have some bad news for you," says Banta.
"The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house. The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away. Later, after dark, the car came back. I saw your wife and a strange man get out. They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window. Your wife was kissing the man. Then he took off his shirt and then.... they turned off the light."
"Then what happened?" says Santa.
"I don't know. It was too dark to see."
"Damn, you see what I mean? There's always that doubt."
******************************************************************
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Santa applied for the position of Mechanical Engineer. In interview:
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Bhagwan ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Santa applied for the position of Mechanical Engineer. In interview:
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Bhagwan ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
***********************************************************************
Santa's father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.
Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.
Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa.
His father said, "Read that label. That's why!"
Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."
Santa's father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.
Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.
Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa.
His father said, "Read that label. That's why!"
Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN."
**********************************************
-
- Santa goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
Santa then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
Santa says, "I ll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It s a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
Santa replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke." flask."- ************
********* ********* ********* ***** - A man is driving down a country road, when he spots Santa standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.
He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to our Santa and asks him, "Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?"
Santa replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How?" asks the man, puzzled.
"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."- ************
********* ********* ********* *** - Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the clerk, and Santa says, "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?"
"You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk.
"Whatever, whatever you say."
So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed closest to the door.
"Ahh," says Santa, "Now we can get some sleep at last."
As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed.
"Hey! There's somebody in my bed!" says Banta.
"There's somebody in my bed too!" says Santa.
"Let's get rid of them. We paid for this room and we're going to sleep in the beds!" says Banta.
They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and push until eventually Santa throws Banta on the floor.
"ALL RIGHT!!" Santa shouts, "I've thrown mine off the bed."
"You're lucky," says Banta, "I got thrown off and I'm too tired to fight any more."
"Well, never mind," says Santa, "Why don't you just come and share my bed. Let's get some sleep round here."- ************
********* ********* ********* ****** - Fed up with people making fun of him, Santa Singh decided to change his religion. He joined a priest in a church as his assistant.
One day the priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, He called Santa D'Costa (his new assistant) and asked him to cover for him.
Santa told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to stay with him for a little while and learn what to do.
Santa joined the priest and then followed him into the confessional. A few minutes later a woman came in and said "Father, forgive me for I have sinned"
Priest: "What did you do?"
Woman: " I committed adultery"
Priest: "How many times?"
Woman: "Three times"
Priest: "Say Two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more"
A few minutes later a man entered the confessional. He said "Father, forgive me for I have sinned"
Priest: "What did you do?"
Man: "I committed adultery"
Priest: "How many times?"
Man: "Three times"
Priest: "Say two Hail Marys, put $ 5.00 in the charity box, and sin no more"
Santa, a quick learner, told the priest that he understood the job and the priest could leave. Santa D'costa was now alone. A few minutes later another woman entered and said
"Father, forgive me for I have sinned"
Santa: "What did you do?"
Woman: "I committed adultery"
Santa: "How many times?"
Woman: "Once"
Santa: "Go do it two more times, we have a special offer this week, three times for $ 5.00"
********************* ********* ********* ***** - Life comes once only:
No retake/replay/rewind/once- more.
One should enjoy it, be happy & keep happy others too.
- Regards
- Teena Wilson
- Santa goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
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