A woman brought a very limp duck in to Dr. Santa,
a veterinary surgeon.
As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope
and listened to the duck's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied Dr. Santa.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested.
"I mean you haven't done any testing
on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement,
the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the
examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat.
The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of
the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said,
"I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely,
100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Dr.Santa turned to his computer terminal, hit a
few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the
bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell
me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $10, but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it's now $150."
